i came into these two weeks of training camp expecting to be challenged. but i don’t think anyone can fully prepare themselves the challenges that training camp holds. no bed, new faces, new routine, and the list goes on. i felt discomfort and vulnerable. both of those feelings are ones that i’m not used to having. but it was when i was completely stripped of my comforts till i dug deeper into my relationship with myself, and God. both of which i needed to be pushed in so that i can have full confidence of the field. it was so interesting to see how i had become so dependent on certain things.  i came to realize the materialistic things i found way too much security in. i shouldn’t feel so much discomfort in having my usual clothes/style or belongings taken away… but i felt that, heavy. i never realized how i would wake up in the mornings looking for a mirror without thinking about it, until i didn’t have one. i became so used to have mirrors around me all the time and looking for the imperfections of myself before anyone else could find them first. at the beginning of it, i had discomfort, but in the end i felt free. i felt free from an insecurity that was secretly weighing me down that i didn’t realize i had. it wasn’t just the materialistic comforts taken away as i watched the devil also attack the comforts i have in who i am. for me, i find comfort in my adaptability when it comes to being in new environments. in most situations, i thrive off of it. i feel refreshed and recharged. meeting new people and being somewhere new excited me. but i immediately felt the exact opposite of that at first. i felt the lies creeping into me and try to consume me. additionally, i take pride in my confidence in my decisions and how sure i am. yet, i was constantly second guessing my position and my placement in the community. even having the intrusive thought of if i was in the right place for me.  i experienced the most heavy spiritual attack i’ve ever had. (but that just shows how great God is going to move in this new experience which gives me the most encouragement!) and as those comforts of myself was stripped away, i was able to watch God restore and replace them. i was able to rely on Him to bring me comfort rather than myself. beautiful is the best word i can describe it as. to experience God fill the holes in your life when you felt so lost without them is beautiful. well, the first blog on this journey was raw and vulnerable, but God is moving in great ways and it deserves to be shared :) in conclusion…

do not be scared of being stripped of your comforts for that is when God’s wonders are magnified.